Joke of the Day

[TimmyG]

(not me)

[andy10917]

What kind of idiot is that? It's ridiculous -- the HOC will change as the snow collects on the wheels.

[tlinden]

Just be sure you have a mulching blade for that =P

[Redtenchu]

Just be sure you have a mulching blade for that =P

[Ware]

Q: What do Hillary Clinton and the Dallas Cowboys have in common?

A: They’ve both lost 6 of their last 8.

[dfw_pilot]

ZING!

[dfw_pilot]

Have you seen the other side Mt. Rushmore?

[dfw_pilot]

How does someone know they are on a date with a pilot? The pilot says, "Well, that's enough about me, let's talk about flying."

[andy10917]

This is actually not exactly a joke - this really happened today and it can be confirmed by checking today's NY Times crossword puzzle:

Darlene: the hint is "Mongolian for 'Hero' "
Andy: I dunno
(Darlene looks it up)
Darlene: it's BATOR
Andy: Wait, new question. Does that make a MasterBator a Superhero?

[Tony alony]

This is actually not exactly a joke - this really happened today and it can be confirmed by checking today's NY Times crossword puzzle:

Darlene: the hint is "Mongolian for 'Hero' "
Andy: I dunno
(Darlene looks it up)
Darlene: it's BATOR
Andy: Wait, new question. Does that make a MasterBator a Superhero?

For shame! Andy!

[gijoe4500]

[seiyafan]

Bubble tea is a very popular drink in Asia, the best part? Sucking balls.

[Redtenchu]

I noticed a tired looking homeless man on the sidewalk today, the look in his eye appeared to be grim and without hope.

I had an extra 2 dollars so I leaned over to give it the poor homeless man.

He said, "Thanks, but I'm not Homeless. I'm married..."

[dfw_pilot]

May my mother rest in peace.

She's not dead, she's just going to take a nap and I hope it's peaceful.

[Redtenchu]

You Might be a Redneck if...


-You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

-You ever cut your grass and found a car.

[dfw_pilot]

Or if . . .

Your mom says, "Ya'll come in here and look at this before I flush this down!"

Your grandma says, "Eww, smell my hand and tell me that don't stink!"

Your dad comes out of the bathroom and says, "Man! I do NOT remember eating anything that stinky!"

[ Post made via my nice double wide]

[dfw_pilot]

I love it when someone (usually in an airport) comes up to me and asks me, "May I ask you a question?" Like a smart --- I say, "You just did, but you may ask another."

[ Post sponsored in part by Home Depot - Lets do this ]

[Yossarian]

dfw_pilot: Do you ever just sit in an airport bar, pounding apple juice while slurring your speech and then get up and loudly announce that you've got a plane to fly?

B

[dfw_pilot]

I've wanted to, but still have a mortgage.

[ Post made via the DFW Terminal 2 bar ]

[bpgreen]

I love it when someone (usually in an airport) comes up to me and asks me, "May I ask you a question?" Like a smart --- I say, "You just did, but you may ask another."

[ Post sponsored in part by Home Depot - Lets do this ]

In Mandarin, when you want to ask a question, you always start with, "excuse me, may I ask" followed by the question. Makes more sense.